Idk why but I always prefer to depend on myself, rather than relying on people. Not that I don't trust people (though part of the reason may be that sometimes) but I always tend to feel bad if I have to inconvenience someone just to help me out. I mean it's nice that there're people who look out for me most of the time, I really really appreciate it. I mean looking back from 2014 till even yesterday, I've been receiving a lot of help and love from different people in many different ways and I'm really very grateful!! *inserts virtual hugs*

But because I tend to feel bad and thankful so easily that I always hear people around me to be more wary that some may not be genuine and are just taking advantage of me. When I feel bad I'll want to do something in return for that person, or normally I'll just keep a lookout for the person cause I just feel indebted haha. 

But this kinda reminded me some painful lesson I learnt in primary school. Just reminded me that everything may not be what it seems on the surface. But I guess after so many years already, I should be better at reading people rightttt. But why sometimes I still doubt myself?! 

Okay random ranting aside, I'm soooo tired now omg. After staying awake for 36 hours I think no amount of sleep can make up for that. Guess the caffeine in tea really can keep me awake hahah. Had fun at Rachel's place on Friday, really thankful for organising the stayover. :) Guess I had fun thus I didn't think so much till everyone was sleeping and being super awake I started reflecting and thinking about certain issues again sighhh. No sleep and think too much = no good no good. 

But I guess I was able to put those thoughts aside better now yayyy. At least I wasn't affected by it after they all woke up! Brunch and more games before heading home, and really thankful to Bryan to sending me back to Tamp (and SH to Hougang and JX to Khatib :)); must have been damn tough for him also all of them also barely slept much and still must drive so long. :/ Reminded me of the Taitung trip when he was also the one who had to keep driving for hours omg. Wondered if he was angst at any point in time while having to send us back when we all stayed so far away. (Cause he never say much but I think any reasonable person would have felt tt way when deciding whether to send us back to our homes) Felt so bad eh, after being a burden in kaohsiung I'm still a burden back here :( Really felt like I owe this friend a lot hahaha. 

Wanted to nap at 11 plus at night but I just slept all the way till 2am, before moving to the room and slept till 10. Still damn tired but couldn't sleep, so I'm taking a lot of naps in between instead. Seems like it's a no-work day haha!! #whatisconsol 

But I think I'm sooooo tired that I'm having hallucinations HAHA. Like how some things that didn't happen seem so realistic as though it's happening right then though I'm clearly asleep. Ohoh, and also sleep talking omg. My brother said he heard my alarm ring last night and I DID wake up, and even told him stuff hahahha whattt. Zero recollections of those mehhh. Seems like I really need a lot more sleep before school starts again tmr.

I finally visited the docs too for my allergy. It's been long since I've had such a bad one except back in Cing Jing farm. Thankfully it's not food allergy though, still trying hard to adapt to a greater variety of food. :D