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These days were hectic, like really. Everything happened so quickly and somehow at the wrong time. Really hated it when certain news just come crashing down on me around the same time. Well my granduncle passed on last Thurs, and everyone was so busy with the wake that it took me so long to sort out my thoughts. I guess I really need a break to catch my breath before school starts. 

Tbh, this didn't hit me as hard as my grandma's one, but still he was someone who watched me grow up - I still remember when the cousins were still toddlers, I would follow my grandpa to the airport to eat char kuay tiao that he made. Subsequently when he got a stroke and had to go for physiotherapy sessions, we visited him often and went to his house for the elders to catch up. My cousins (both close and slightly distant) ones may not have appreciated him as much because he fell sick really long ago, but I really felt sad for him sometimes that he couldn't spend time playing with his grandchildren while he was alive. At least it was comforting that he's relieved of all his sufferings. 

So the week was mainly spent helping out and working; really felt the responsibility of being the older children amongst all my cousins there. It's like I feel that it is mandatory to help out and take care of the little ones at the same time. I think I'm really lacking sleep lately, having only 4 hours of sleep daily :( 

& I'm gna OT all the way till I leave cause it's GST month-end /sighpie. Can totally imagine how life's gna be like in the future when I work in even larger corporations. Probably I'm gna look forward to hall camp; it sort of brings back memory form the past year. (& I felt sooo bad skipping these camps because of work and family matters) Hopefully I would really think too much again, I mean memories can be both good and bad (if you knw what I meant) I do wish my STM method would work again and erase those unhappy ones.

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I hate myself for having selfish thoughts. :( I know it's wrong but I can't help it. It's good news, so why am I trying to condemn it so badly. Arghhhhh I thought by now I would have accepted that fact that not everyone stays with you forever. 

I need happy thoughts ahhhhhhhhh :( I hope I wouldn't remember the fact that people do things for their own benefits too. #life #dontlikealsomustaccept